well since this blog is about my thoughts

i'm going to type exactly what i feel right at this moment:

well, about morgan... she told me about her guy "situation" with logen... and i'm not really sure how i feel about that... it's almost scary that my best friend is going through such a thing... but it makes me think twice about decisions like that... i've never actually considered doing that, but if it ever comes up, i'm gonna have something to think about... i mean, i was talking to my mom about it a few weeks ago, and she said "erika, i've told you all i can tell you about it and how to protect yourself" and i understand that, but it's like... well when the time comes it's gonna be really hard to say no, so i need to have the mindset that i'm going to be the bigger person and don't put myself in vulnerable positions like that, and if it comes down to it, just say no... i mean, if it's forced, it can be tried for rape... and i really hope it never ever comes down to that... i just hope that in those kind of situations my conscience kicks in and keeps my head on straight... i mean, the last thing i would need would be to get caught or pregnant... ohh boy

next is jake... seriously. the kid is amazing... i love him so much... he understands me more than anyone in the entire world... (which is probably why he's going for a degree in psychology)... and i feel like i can talk to him about anything... he knows more about me than probably anyone in my entire life... even more than my mom... it's so easy to talk to him about anything... like tonight i talked to him for 2 hours, just explaining my past to him and how it's shaped my future... he explained his to me... and both mine and his are very scary but it's amazing how through a series of strange events, we met eachother and are now at the point in our relationship that we're at... it's so awesome how God has given me the gift of Jake, it's almost as if i don't deserve it, but i'm not complaining a single bit... tonight was awesome... we went out for chinese food at the buffet... it was expensive, but a lot of fun! then we went to shopko and found some red shoes for $9.50 for sweetheart's... then we went to the hospital and sat with my grandma for an hour... i seriously can't believe that he sat in a hospital room with me for so long... it's amazing that he supports me that much... then we went to my house and we were 6 minutes late, so i'm grounded from hanging out with him until next sunday (except for the dance of course) which is going to be really hard for me... but i guess it's not that bad because he's working from 5-close every single night (except wednesday)... i'm not sure if i can go to the notre dame vs bay port hockey game... ill see about that... anyway... i've been planning what i'm going to do for him for valentines day... and yes, it's going to be AMAZING... if you wanna know about it, askkkkkkk

hmm... my family is going pretty well actually... dad and becky have been talking about moving in together in spring... i think that'd be really awesome... my mom has been really clingy lately, almost like she's holding on too tight, and it's really frusturating... on a worse note, my worst aunt (i know that sounds terrible, but we really don't get along at all) is coming up for the superbowl tomorrow, and since i'm grounded from jake, i can't go to his house... ahh oh well, it's just gonna kinda suck

school is going okay... it's been really hard for me to focus lately with everything going on, so my grades have pretty much been going downhill, so i'm gonna try really hard to get them back up this week... it's tough though

everything else is pretty awesome, i'm not gonna lie
jake makes everything in my life better
i love it, wow