WHY I HATE KIDS

I HATE KIDS SO MUCH IT ISNT EVEN FUNNY. THIS IS WHY I HATE THEM.


Kids are stupid. They're always running around with their sticky hands and filthy Star Wars toys, completely oblivious to their surroundings. Irresponsible, lazy, and worthless. I saw a kid on a Chex commercial today. The kid was laughing. Laughing because he likes the noise it makes when he eats cereal. The kid was trying to be cute and funny, but ended up being annoying and repulsive.

Kids are loud, stupid, annoying, ugly, and they smell like dog crap. They're always running around giggling and spilling punch everywhere. They waste their time playing games kick the can. Always eating candy and teasing the kids without any. Those little brats. Kids aren't even real people; that's why kids pay less to go to movies. They pay less because they're worth less. No, not worth less, just worthless.

Babies suck. The last thing you want is a baby that's awake. Babies are loud, stupid, and they crap all over everything. If you're not going to supervise your little brats, then don't have kids. We have enough potheads running around as it is, we don't need more.

These little brats have gone too far these days. It's time to kick some ass and to bring down the law on these delinquents. New rules:

No more laughing. Kids aren't people and don't deserve to laugh.

No more singing. No more music. Nobody wants to hear a stupid little kid try to sing or listen to music. They don't know what's good, and they might start listening to the Wall Flowers or Live.

No more running, jumping, dancing, or fun. Kids don't deserve to have fun. They have to earn the air they breathe.

Penalty for graffiti: Death. No more of this correctional center crap.

Penalty for disobedience: Death. We deserve respect and that is what we will get.

Penalty for experimentation with drugs or sex: Death. We want to send them a strong message about this one.

Penalty for ditching school: Hmm... I'm going with Death on this one, just to be safe.

Penalty for being outside beyond curfew: No penalty. Any children outside beyond their curfew will fall victim to rabid dogs and vampires.

That should do it for now. With these rules, we shouldn't have any more problems with kids falling out of line. With total supervision, they can't screw up. And if they do, they will be shot. It's simple, and effective. Positive reinforcement in a child's life only leads to communism. Lets prevent it from ever happening again.

People tell me that I shouldn't have kids. Why? I think I'd make a great mom. My kids won't be screwed up little imbeciles. They'll be great, just like me. I won't tolerate failure, like all those other parents. No son of mine is going to fail. We need more winners, and less losers. If you can't cut it, then you're weak. Inferior. Worthless. A bad seed. A sour grape. What's with sour grapes anyway? Why are they considered bad? I like sour grapes.

People think I'm am jerk for hating kids but I do... I HATE kids